we need a humor forum.....until then

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Friend and his wife flew to the U K for the weekend for dinner. Yes, they did things like that often.
He went to the restroom and saw a Condom Machine mounted on the wall.
A notice on the machine read : "Made and tested in the U K".
Under that notice someone had added " So was the Titanic".
Made it into one of the larger News Papers of the day in San Francisco.
 
"I Think You're the Father of One of My Kids"

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at
him. She says, 'Hello.'

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he asks, 'Do you know me?'

She replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife.

So he asks, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that
I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped
my butt with wet celery?'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'
 
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