we need a humor forum.....until then

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Still trying to get my head around the fact that Take Out can mean food, dating, or murder.



You know you're over 50 when you have upstairs ibuprofen and downstairs ibuprofen.



How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when

the rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two years, and

the turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives over 200 years.

So, rest, chill, eat, drink, and enjoy life!



When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, Probably, but I wouldn't count on it.



There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.



Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.
 
They're not happy in Gaza ..
They're not happy in Egypt ..

They're not happy in Libya ..

They're not happy in Morocco ..

They're not happy in Iran ..

They're not happy in Iraq ..

They're not happy in Yemen ...

They're not happy in Afghanistan ...

They're not happy in Pakistan ..

They're not happy in Syria ..

They're not happy in Lebanon ...



SO.. WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY?



They're happy in Australia ..

They're happy in Canada ..

They're happy in England ..

They're happy in France ..

They're happy in Italy ..

They're happy in Germany ..

They're happy in Sweden ..

They're happy in the USA ..

They're happy in Norway ..

They're happy in Holland ..

They're happy in Denmark ..



Basically, they're happy in every country that is not Muslim and unhappy in every country that is!



AND WHO DO THEY BLAME?



Not Islam.

Not their leadership.

Not themselves



THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN !



AND THEN- They want to change those countries to be like, THE COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!



Excuse me, but I can't help wondering...

How frigging dumb can you get?

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.



Let's have a look at the evidence:



- No Christmas

- No television

- No nude women

- No football

- No pork chops

- No hot dogs

- No burgers

- No beer

- No bacon

- Rags for clothes

- Towels for hats

- Constant wailing from some bloke in a tower

- More than one wife

- More than one mother-in-law

- You can't shave

- Your wife can't shave

- You can't wash off the smell of donkeys

- You cook over burning camel shit

- Your wife is picked by someone else for you

- and your wife smells worse than your donkey

- Then they tell them that "when they die, it all gets better"???



Well No Shit Sherlock!....

It's not like it could get much worse!
 
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