antelopedundee
internet bum
antelopedundee
internet bum
antelopedundee
internet bum
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
antelopedundee
internet bum
Compliments of Joe from Up Nort.
1) I’ve just finished reading a book about the world’s greatest basement ….. It was a best cellar.
2) It’s my first week working at the bicycle factory and they already made me a spokesperson.
3) My laptop caught pneumonia, apparently, because I left Windows open.
4) I thought swimming with Dolphins was expensive until I went swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg.
5) The main function of your big toe is to make sure all the furniture in the house is in the right place.
6) Horses have lower divorce rates. It’s because they are in stable relationships.
7) It’s pretty obvious that if I run in front of a car, I will get tired but if I run behind a car I will get exhausted.
8) My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them you just wait.
9) 90% of bald people still own a comb; they just can’t part with it.
10) Every morning I get hit by the same bicycle …… It’s a vicious cycle.
11) The word “incorrectly” is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary.
12) I’ve been experimenting with breeding racing deer. People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.
13) The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.
14) I went to a fish restaurant last night and ordered the Octopus. The waiter told me it takes 4 hours to cook. "Why", I asked. He said "It’s because it keeps turning the gas off".
15) What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
16) When I was a kid, we played spin the bottle with the girls. If they didn’t want to kiss you, they would have you give you a dollar. By the time I was 12, I owned my own home.
17) Always trust a nudist, they have nothing to hide.
1) I’ve just finished reading a book about the world’s greatest basement ….. It was a best cellar.
2) It’s my first week working at the bicycle factory and they already made me a spokesperson.
3) My laptop caught pneumonia, apparently, because I left Windows open.
4) I thought swimming with Dolphins was expensive until I went swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg.
5) The main function of your big toe is to make sure all the furniture in the house is in the right place.
6) Horses have lower divorce rates. It’s because they are in stable relationships.
7) It’s pretty obvious that if I run in front of a car, I will get tired but if I run behind a car I will get exhausted.
8) My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them you just wait.
9) 90% of bald people still own a comb; they just can’t part with it.
10) Every morning I get hit by the same bicycle …… It’s a vicious cycle.
11) The word “incorrectly” is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary.
12) I’ve been experimenting with breeding racing deer. People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.
13) The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.
14) I went to a fish restaurant last night and ordered the Octopus. The waiter told me it takes 4 hours to cook. "Why", I asked. He said "It’s because it keeps turning the gas off".
15) What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
16) When I was a kid, we played spin the bottle with the girls. If they didn’t want to kiss you, they would have you give you a dollar. By the time I was 12, I owned my own home.
17) Always trust a nudist, they have nothing to hide.
antelopedundee
internet bum
Fable of the Porcupine
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.
The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and Protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their Companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.
The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and Protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their Companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!
antelopedundee
internet bum
antelopedundee
internet bum
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
AMMASHOOTA
Gary Gruber
A young man walks into a bar and sits down. He calls over the bartender and asks for a shot of whiskey. Before the bartender can leave he motions to him for another shot.
He drinks the second one as quickly as the first. The bartender is a little curious and he stands and stares at him. The young man motions at the bartender for a third shot.
The bartender pours the third shot and the young man drinks it as quickly as the first and the second. The bartender strikes up a little conversation. "Well, young man you must be celebrating something today!"
The youngster says "yes, my first blow job!" An ear to ear grin breaks out on the bartender and he says "hell, that's something to celebrate. Let me buy you another round on the house!"
The young man answers quietly " if I can't get that taste out of my mouth with three shots, I don't think a fourth is going to help."
He drinks the second one as quickly as the first. The bartender is a little curious and he stands and stares at him. The young man motions at the bartender for a third shot.
The bartender pours the third shot and the young man drinks it as quickly as the first and the second. The bartender strikes up a little conversation. "Well, young man you must be celebrating something today!"
The youngster says "yes, my first blow job!" An ear to ear grin breaks out on the bartender and he says "hell, that's something to celebrate. Let me buy you another round on the house!"
The young man answers quietly " if I can't get that taste out of my mouth with three shots, I don't think a fourth is going to help."
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
antelopedundee
internet bum
antelopedundee
internet bum
antelopedundee
internet bum
