Fecaltrons and other cosmic dark matter
Shelly, so is , unfortunately, Jackie. Fortunately Dickie (if you can pronounce his name you are probably an illegal immigrant from Hoochestahn) Pustejovsky and I have found a way to defeat him using subatomic particle physics. Each of us will consume large amounts of undercooked chorizo, raw cabbage, onions, ranch beans and sauerkraut the night before the upcoming Tomball match. The next morning we each will swallow an habenaro pepper as an initiator. The resulting gastrointestinal fission-fusion-fission dirty bomb will provide the massive amounts of energy needed for the next step. Using special bodily conduits we will direct the tremendously potent streams of cosmic dark matter at Jackie. These streams traveling at 99.99990% of the speed of light will collide in his brain and produce a shower of fecaltrons. His optic nerves will channel them into the aqueous humor of his eyes where they will instantly decay into brown floaters momentarily clouding his vision resulting in a thrown shot. Since neither of us can out shoot him this seemed like the next best thing. Tim