60 the new 80
Jackie, Despite your many life threatening past escapades both self inflicted and inflicted by others you have managed to make it to 60 ( 600 in hamster years). Here are some helpful senior citizen products you may now find useful: Preparation H in 55 gallon drums available at Costco, Dick Clark rejuvenation cream, scrotal botox injections, the latest article from the New England Journal of Medicine "learn to walk on your hands and defeat gravity" and the popular bestseller "My Bowels and Other Endlessly Fascinating Conversation Starters". So get with it. Grow a pony tail to go with your bald spot. Buy a Harley and join the Road Geezer motorcycle club. Cultivate a luxurious thatch of nasal hair. Learn to drool like a pro and embrace 60 the new 80. Tim