Tim Oltersdorf
Active member
What! Dave? Sick?
Dave, I cannot find the sick post. I think you deleted it. I am sorry I missed it. Tim
Dave, I cannot find the sick post. I think you deleted it. I am sorry I missed it. Tim
Me too....... "there's no humor too dark"
funny is funny
is funny
I have to deal every day with these people who have "feelings".....
and no sense of humor
YET they attempt to engage......
AMMASHOOTA
Gary Gruber
I worked with Bob Hope for many years -- I was the chief photographer for the Bob Hope Classic in the Palm Springs area. A more wonderful man I have never met.
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
Found: Jimmy Hoffa letter to the president
It was a thank you note penned by Jimmy Hoffa, addressed to President Joe Biden. Shockingly, it was dated October 18, 2021 - just two weeks ago.
Since this is all made up anyway, we figured the parties involved would see no harm in us sharing that note with you this morning.
Here it is, hot from wherever it is Hoffa resides these days...
Dear Mr. President,
What a victory this is for the little guy. Thank you for, as you say, running the most pro-union administration in history.
I was worried you would cave to the pressure of this so-called supply chain crunch. The boys down here were telling me you were thinking of allowing America's ports to use automated cranes.
Oh boy, that'd be bad news for us in the organized world.
You didn't mention it in your speech, but the average dockworker these days is getting $171,000 each year. It's incredible. But automation would kill it. Those darn machines work twice as fast and are becoming the norm all around the world.
They're union busters.
But again, thank you for looking out for us.
Your "90-day sprint" plan is ingenious. By keeping ports open all day every day, our boys will get the overtime pay they deserve going into Christmas.
That nighttime and weekend pay will surely put some bling in some stockings this year.
It's great news for union dues. Oh boy, is it.
It's hard to believe that just a few years ago, California's port union was on the brink of bankruptcy. But thanks to you and your infrastructure bill flat-out making automation illegal... we're set to keep the pace for another century.
What you're doing is pure genius... $4,500 tax credits to folks who buy union-made electric cars. Fourteen grand to folks who buy union-made solar installations.
Thank you!
I know you'll take heat for this supply chain mess. Leaders of other countries have caved in the name of getting goods to flow. They've let their countries go automated.
But remember... those dockworkers vote. Nearly 99% of union campaign money, ahem, went into your coffers last year.
You're welcome.
I thought our dockworkers were in trouble in 2010. That scathing New York Times piece predicted this mess. But the piece got one thing right... the unions have all the power. It's not like a ship can just pull up to another port and let some undercutter pluck their containers from the deck.
But even as a senator, you consistently voted to boost the power of unions. Remember that Union Organization Bill you voted for in 2007?
That was huge.
Who needs the Big Guy with the pitchfork when we've got Washington on the topside!
Right now, we've got the market eating out of our hand. Our workers are getting rich. Our managers are making almost as much as you... and they get free healthcare too.
You're the most pro-union president yet... and look around - it shows.
Folks are finally seeing our power. We hit 'em where it hurts... their wallets.
Let's keep it going. Let's do what that decade-old New York Times piece said... Let's give more power to all of our unions and get them earning as much as those longshoremen in California.
We'll all be rich!
Oh, yeah... In your last letter to me, you kindly inquired about the weather down here. It's hot... real hot. And the lava flows are annoying. But you grow calloused to the pitchfork pricks.
Really, it's the company that makes the place so nice.
It's filled with all the greats. You'll love it.
But be warned, I heard just the other day that they're preparing a whole new wing for Trump.
It'll probably be some god-awful, gawdy setup. At least it'll get Nixon out of my hair. He's still talking about his "inflation busting" wage freeze... from 1971.
Boo to him.
Anyway, thanks again for everything. It's been huge. We owe you.
See you soon!
Your pal,
Jimmy
It was a thank you note penned by Jimmy Hoffa, addressed to President Joe Biden. Shockingly, it was dated October 18, 2021 - just two weeks ago.
Since this is all made up anyway, we figured the parties involved would see no harm in us sharing that note with you this morning.
Here it is, hot from wherever it is Hoffa resides these days...
Dear Mr. President,
What a victory this is for the little guy. Thank you for, as you say, running the most pro-union administration in history.
I was worried you would cave to the pressure of this so-called supply chain crunch. The boys down here were telling me you were thinking of allowing America's ports to use automated cranes.
Oh boy, that'd be bad news for us in the organized world.
You didn't mention it in your speech, but the average dockworker these days is getting $171,000 each year. It's incredible. But automation would kill it. Those darn machines work twice as fast and are becoming the norm all around the world.
They're union busters.
But again, thank you for looking out for us.
Your "90-day sprint" plan is ingenious. By keeping ports open all day every day, our boys will get the overtime pay they deserve going into Christmas.
That nighttime and weekend pay will surely put some bling in some stockings this year.
It's great news for union dues. Oh boy, is it.
It's hard to believe that just a few years ago, California's port union was on the brink of bankruptcy. But thanks to you and your infrastructure bill flat-out making automation illegal... we're set to keep the pace for another century.
What you're doing is pure genius... $4,500 tax credits to folks who buy union-made electric cars. Fourteen grand to folks who buy union-made solar installations.
Thank you!
I know you'll take heat for this supply chain mess. Leaders of other countries have caved in the name of getting goods to flow. They've let their countries go automated.
But remember... those dockworkers vote. Nearly 99% of union campaign money, ahem, went into your coffers last year.
You're welcome.
I thought our dockworkers were in trouble in 2010. That scathing New York Times piece predicted this mess. But the piece got one thing right... the unions have all the power. It's not like a ship can just pull up to another port and let some undercutter pluck their containers from the deck.
But even as a senator, you consistently voted to boost the power of unions. Remember that Union Organization Bill you voted for in 2007?
That was huge.
Who needs the Big Guy with the pitchfork when we've got Washington on the topside!
Right now, we've got the market eating out of our hand. Our workers are getting rich. Our managers are making almost as much as you... and they get free healthcare too.
You're the most pro-union president yet... and look around - it shows.
Folks are finally seeing our power. We hit 'em where it hurts... their wallets.
Let's keep it going. Let's do what that decade-old New York Times piece said... Let's give more power to all of our unions and get them earning as much as those longshoremen in California.
We'll all be rich!
Oh, yeah... In your last letter to me, you kindly inquired about the weather down here. It's hot... real hot. And the lava flows are annoying. But you grow calloused to the pitchfork pricks.
Really, it's the company that makes the place so nice.
It's filled with all the greats. You'll love it.
But be warned, I heard just the other day that they're preparing a whole new wing for Trump.
It'll probably be some god-awful, gawdy setup. At least it'll get Nixon out of my hair. He's still talking about his "inflation busting" wage freeze... from 1971.
Boo to him.
Anyway, thanks again for everything. It's been huge. We owe you.
See you soon!
Your pal,
Jimmy
Engrbill
Member
Las Vegas ladies
Two elderly ladies sit at the back of the tour bus on their way home from a day of playing the slots in Las Vegas. Its night time and the as the bus rolls along ,one of the ladies walks to the front of the bus and asks the bus driver if he would like some peanuts. The driver accepts her kind offer and she hands him a handful of peanuts. About an hour later she goes up and offers the driver more peanuts. the driver accepts but asks why don't you ladies eat them yourselves? She answers OH NO we can't eat peanuts. They get under our dentures. We just suck the chocolate off them.
Two elderly ladies sit at the back of the tour bus on their way home from a day of playing the slots in Las Vegas. Its night time and the as the bus rolls along ,one of the ladies walks to the front of the bus and asks the bus driver if he would like some peanuts. The driver accepts her kind offer and she hands him a handful of peanuts. About an hour later she goes up and offers the driver more peanuts. the driver accepts but asks why don't you ladies eat them yourselves? She answers OH NO we can't eat peanuts. They get under our dentures. We just suck the chocolate off them.
A sneaky trick for Halloween
Last weekend was Halloween (yep even here in Australia) so running low on treats for the lovely local children I decided 'Well its Trick or Treat' so why not play a trick.
Take some PVA glue and put a patch onto your forearm (about 1.5" dia)
Mash up a piece of banana and put a dollop onto the dried PVA.
Cover the banana with a layer or two of more PVA and let it dry. Add a red or black dot to make it look authentic.
When the kids arrive, show them your nasty boil, that freaks them out.
Then stick your pocket knife into the boil and squeeze the yellow contents out, that gets them screaming.
Then lick the puss from your boil
Yummy!
* doggie *
Last weekend was Halloween (yep even here in Australia) so running low on treats for the lovely local children I decided 'Well its Trick or Treat' so why not play a trick.
Take some PVA glue and put a patch onto your forearm (about 1.5" dia)
Mash up a piece of banana and put a dollop onto the dried PVA.
Cover the banana with a layer or two of more PVA and let it dry. Add a red or black dot to make it look authentic.
When the kids arrive, show them your nasty boil, that freaks them out.
Then stick your pocket knife into the boil and squeeze the yellow contents out, that gets them screaming.
Then lick the puss from your boil
Yummy!
* doggie *
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
Someone asked Cap'n Hook how he got the hook
He replies "We wuz boardin' their ship and one of the scurvy dogs sliced through my wrist as I held onto the ropes!"
Then the guy asks him "How'd you get the eye patch?"
Hook replies "I was up in the crows nest and a seagull shat in my eye!"
The visitor, incredulous, asks "And that made you lose an eye?"
"No, it was just after I got me 'ook!"
He replies "We wuz boardin' their ship and one of the scurvy dogs sliced through my wrist as I held onto the ropes!"
Then the guy asks him "How'd you get the eye patch?"
Hook replies "I was up in the crows nest and a seagull shat in my eye!"
The visitor, incredulous, asks "And that made you lose an eye?"
"No, it was just after I got me 'ook!"
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
Stuff
.
.
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
>
> A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning. One woman lost it completely.
>
> She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, 'I'm too young to die!' Then she yelled, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'
>
> For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then the cowboy from Texas stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest.
>
> She gasped...
>
> Then, he spoke... 'Iron this -- and then get me a beer.
> A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning. One woman lost it completely.
>
> She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, 'I'm too young to die!' Then she yelled, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'
>
> For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then the cowboy from Texas stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest.
>
> She gasped...
>
> Then, he spoke... 'Iron this -- and then get me a beer.
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
