Tim Oltersdorf
Active member
Mr. Antelopedunde I used to have great respect for you but now I find out you are an evil person. You are a punner. You purposely engage in the lowest form of human behavior the pun. You must enjoy watching peoples heads explode right after they look like that famous painting The Scream. After seeing your posts about the Ceasar dog and the air fryer I am going to schedule myself for electro shock therapy to help erase the memory of them. If that doesn’t work a lobotomy might. The horror, the horror.
antelopedundee
internet bum
I think that what you really wanted to say is that a pun spelled backwards is a nup and that's a nup out of you! Have a great rest of your day sir.
Tim Oltersdorf
Active member
There you go again. You are incorrigible. Wait a minute. My head is exploding.
antelopedundee
internet bum
antelopedundee
internet bum
antelopedundee
internet bum
So these days Lance is a rather uncommon name but in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
antelopedundee
internet bum
OliveOil
Active member
Nice "mod special". Went through censorship ...
antelopedundee
internet bum
amiabledave50
Member
I told my wife I'm not doing dishes ever again. She said, WHY? I said that President Trump said that men cannot compete in women's sports
Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’
She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”
“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.
She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it."
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’
She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”
“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.
She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it."
Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
antelopedundee
internet bum
amiabledave50
Member
Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
Tim Oltersdorf
Active member
Three religious leaders a baptist minister, a catholic priest and a rabbi were discussing what they wanted people to say after death as they viewed their bodies . The baptist minister says he wanted them to say "He talked in tongues. He never drank alcohol, danced or played cards. He was a good baptist.". The catholic priest said that he wanted them to say "He never had sex with a woman. He said mass every day and prayed to the saints" He was a good catholic priest." They turned to the rabbi and asked him what he wanted them to say. He replied "Look! He's breathing.".
Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.
As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anything i can do to help"
The Iranian whispered, "my son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is American, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is japanese, but there are no Muslims.
My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on Star Trek.
The General laughed, leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future...."
As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anything i can do to help"
The Iranian whispered, "my son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is American, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is japanese, but there are no Muslims.
My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on Star Trek.
The General laughed, leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future...."