The Care and Feeding Of A Benchrist Wife

Tim Oltersdorf

Tim Oltersdorf

Active member
Now that the BR season is over let us turn our thoughts to a messy, illogical but very necessary part of our sport. I speak, of course, about our spouses. They put up with a lot and in our heart of hearts we know it is a lot more then we would put up with. So here is a BR 101 spouses survival manual:
1: This is the easy part. Pounce on her sexualy every chance you get. Women from the get go are taught to be alluring. Tell her she is and you are golden. So what if she doesn't look like Paris Hilton. You don't look like Brad Pit by a long shot.
2: Go to a chick flick where everyone is unfulfilled and you feel like crying. Do it once and be free forever, or at least for 2 months, to watch explosions and tits.
3: Have meaningful conversation and (this is the hard part) at least once a day. It can be 5 minutes or 30 depending on your spouse. If you have one that tends to chatter on forever develop the technique to shut her down or divert the conversation to the important things like benchrest. Tim
 
Dr Tim

You can get off a little cheaper than a Movie. Just sit with Her and watch a couple of those made for Satellite TV dramas on the Lifetime Channel, where there are three major themes. Number one, young Men are pigs. Number two, middle aged Men are pigs, and number three, old Men are pigs.

My marriage of close to 40 years has held strong for one primary reason. My Wife is good at math, and she is an astute collector of portraits of famous Americans, mainly Andrew Jackson, US Grant, and her favorite, Ben Franklin. With me, she collects those. Without me, she has to settle for ole George..........jackie
 
Very funny guys

Good stuff, but Jackie please, don't make me watch the lifetime channel. Fore you know it, we'll be watching dancing with the stars, or ...no I can't say it .....ah.......soaps .....ah...ah...no..no...
 
glynn angle said:
Good stuff, but Jackie please, don't make me watch the lifetime channel. Fore you know it, we'll be watching dancing with the stars, or ...no I can't say it .....ah.......soaps .....ah...ah...no..no...
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You mean I'm not supposed to be watching Michael Irving get kicked off of Dancing with the Stars or worse Project Runway?
 
Project Runway is full of drama, suspense and secret plots. It is a microcosim of life, and portrays interesting people that you would not find at your average BR match. For us simple, rural, small town folk it is a look behind the scenes at life in the big city. All in all, it is a spellbinding program, that leaves you wondering what will happen next.
 
jackie schmidt said:
You can get off a little cheaper than a Movie. Just sit with Her and watch a couple of those made for Satellite TV dramas on the Lifetime Channel, where there are three major themes. Number one, young Men are pigs. Number two, middle aged Men are pigs, and number three, old Men are pigs.

My marriage of close to 40 years has held strong for one primary reason. My Wife is good at math, and she is an astute collector of portraits of famous Americans, mainly Andrew Jackson, US Grant, and her favorite, Ben Franklin. With me, she collects those. Without me, she has to settle for ole George..........jackie
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Jackie, do not discount your handsome, movie star good looks. She may also be attracted to the fact that you resemble a more mature Brad Pitt.
 
I always retreat to my loading room when

my wife decides to watch dancing with the steers or project rungay. Why don't women understand the value of the discovery and history channels??? Strange creatures they are. The only animal that can go to bed happy as a lark and wake up grizzly mad. I think God belly laughs whenever a guy gets married!! She thinks hunting and shooting are "hobbies" instead of a necessity like oxygen---yep emotionally warped & hormonally handicapped.
 
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Hmmmmm

I see that women, as unpredictable as they are, are just the same all ower the world. :D
 
Always

#4. Act like you are listening to them.

Maybe my wife is gay, but she doesn't watch that crap.

Dave
 
Agggh !

YOU GUYS HAVE DEPRESSED ME ! I think I will go buy another scope !! :rolleyes:

Best,
Dan Batko

"Where are we going and why am I in this basket?"
 
bob harrison said:
Project Runway is full of drama... For us simple, rural, small town folk it is a look behind the scenes at life in the big city. ...
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And makes you glad that you live in a small rural town or area around it. However, it does make you see why when you go looking for clothes at a department store why you can't find anything you want to buy.
 
Heeeyyyy!!!

What's wrong with Dancing with the Stars??? Checked out the Women on that thing. With practically nothing on. Shaking everything the good lord gave them. And doing it VERY well.

There are guys paying a $20 cover charge at a "gentleman's club" and not getting that good of a show..........jackie
 
Dancing with the Silicone

Jackie,
Don't get me wrong, I like that show. It's the other ones they mentioned that drive me over the edge. :D

Best,
Dan

"Where are we going and why am I in this basket?"
 
jackie schmidt said:
What's wrong with Dancing with the Stars??? Checked out the Women on that thing. With practically nothing on. Shaking everything the good lord gave them. And doing it VERY well.

There are guys paying a $20 cover charge at a "gentleman's club" and not getting that good of a show..........jackie
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Man oh man, have you got that one right. Its about the only thing my wife and I watch together. Best looking chicks around. And have you noticed the lack of FAT. Talk about shaking your bootie!!!!!!:D:D

Donald
 
I am not a metrosexual

I am sorry about this thread. It was the result of a lost battle with the gin bottle. The battle was the result of filling out and faxing over 200 pages of documents over 4 days ,some of them 5 times, to a health care organization in Houston to become a temporary staff member of a hospital. My long suffering spouse Saint Teresa spent about an hour helping me search for my army discharge papers from 1980. After the gin episode I spent an hour telling her what a goddess she was and then in an ethanol fueled burst of brilliance I stated "I am going to tell the world how to treat someone as wonderful as you". I awoke this morning with a pounding headache, one of those oh no sinking feelings in my stomach and an all too self righteous, snickering spouse. All is not doom and dark despair. Some good came out of it. I can hardly wait to watch, for the first time, Dancing With the Stars. Tim
 
Discharge papers

I've been thru that discharge papers thing. Didn't find um.Did cause me to drink teq. Got some of them replaced without too much hassle. (mine were not burned in the big records fire) Still don't have my expert marksmenship certificate. I thought that was quite an accomplishment with those worn out .30 carbines. Course I did promise the chief instructor I'd mow the grass every Sat. for a month, if I didn't shoot Expert,providing he would loan me his personal rifle (knew he had one stashed somewhere in his office). SORRY TO GET OFF THE SUBJECT. This was long before I invited any Lady to be a permanent part of my life. I have a Dentist friend who shot rimfire benchrest for awhile. He took his wife to the range on a quiet afternoon. Set her down, got her started. She shot a row of X's. He said that's great, she said OK, lets go. She didn't shoot any more & he soon drifted off. GO FIGURE !!!We had a WOMEN ON TARGET EVENT at our club a few Sat's ago with 83 shooters, and very lightly advertised. GO FIGURE And we did charge $20. Of course we furnished everything including lunch. My wife & I went to dinner recently with another couple & the guy mentioned he wanted to buy a handgun. His wife said how much, he said about $225. She said that's too much to spend on any gun. I sat quite still. I think too much of my wife to ever worry her about such matters. Have a great weekend.
 
That benchrest has its own terminology has big benefits for
relationships and wives. Generally it is all greek, and should be kept that
way. Never tell them what an action is, just buy it. Should they find out
its $1000 or more does nothing good. That powder needs bought in kegs
and as many as available does not hurt, untill you mention numbers.
Listen intently to your wife, even pretend your listening. If your not,
train yourself to be aware that she might ask a question. Its there way
of knowing if you are really on the same page, or at the range. Be sure
to remember all special days for her.Taking her out to dinner is a plus, all
that shooting makes a guy hungry. Watching Dancing with the stars with all
that eye candy just lets her know you still appreciate the finer things in life.
Never neglect your barrel.
 
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