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Thread: we need a humor forum.....until then

  1. #1186
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    67

    Dave, NO!

    Dave, that's sick. How could anyone even think that is the least bit humorous?

    glen

  2. #1187
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    701
    HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids)

    1. You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

    No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all the way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10

    2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
    Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.. -- Camille, age 10

    3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

    You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8

    4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

    Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8

    5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

    -Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure?)

    - On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10

    6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
    -When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 (Love her)

    -The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7

    -The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone and they don't complain, start groping and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8

    7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED
    It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

    8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

    There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8

    And the #1 Favorite is.......
    9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

    Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 9

  3. #1188
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Down By the Cedar River
    Posts
    1,381
    .
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  4. #1189
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    washington.........STATE that is.
    Posts
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  5. #1190
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Down By the Cedar River
    Posts
    1,381

  6. #1191
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Down By the Cedar River
    Posts
    1,381
    .
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  7. #1192
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Ames, Iowa
    Posts
    682



  8. #1193
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    701
    You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one.....



    A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.

    The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

    The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery...



    He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

    "Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

    He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

    The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

    He replied, "No money in the bank."

    "Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.

    He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

    The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."



    The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

  9. #1194
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    North Eastern Australia
    Posts
    272
    LoL. I shall save that one for the next time that I visit the elderly club members where I do volunteer work. They love a good joke!

    * doggie *

  10. #1195
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Ames, Iowa
    Posts
    682

  11. #1196
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    washington.........STATE that is.
    Posts
    11,484
    put them kids in detention, get them off the streets......they're not wearing masks.....whaddaya' wanna' do, turn All Hallow's Eve into a Super Spreader Event???

  12. #1197
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    washington.........STATE that is.
    Posts
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  13. #1198
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    washington.........STATE that is.
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    And the other holidays are coming so to get into the spirit this picture hangs over the washup sink in my shop....


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  14. #1199
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    washington.........STATE that is.
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    and one for Dave


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  15. #1200
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Down By the Cedar River
    Posts
    1,381
    Good one Al
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