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Thread: we need a humor forum.....until then

  1. #736
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    I guess I'm a 10 percenter.

    Mort

  2. #737
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmort View Post
    I guess I'm a 10 percenter.

    Mort
    LOL!

    I collect and listen to a lot of "classic" music. I'll bet random people 10bucks they can't come up with a pre-1980's song I don't have with me, on my phone.

    But IF YOU'RE GOING TO WIN MY MONEY...... come up with a Blues song. I just have never had The Blues




    I GET the blues, have had a lotta' friends with the blues, I just don't FEEL the blues cuz I'm one of them dratted Happy Happy Happy conservative Bible huggin' gun-clingin' lovin' my Mama fools




    Speakin' of back-in-the-day, this is the first riddle/joke I remember. Wouldn't be PC today I guess

    "A Big Moron and a Little Moron were sitting on a bridge"

    The Big Moron fell off"

    "Why didn't the Little Moron?"




    ummmm







    cuz he was a little more on......

  3. #738
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    Morons

    That was so corney I had to laff.

    I have a lot of blues records from the fifties..Eric Clapton does a good job when he plays a blues song.... Check out his"Unplugged" CD.

    Mort

  4. #739
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    I can't remember if this has been posted before

    A big-city lawyer went duck hunting in Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

    As the lawyer climbed over the fence to collect the bird, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

    The lawyer replied, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field. Now I'm going in to retrieve it."

    The old farmer looked the lawyer in the eyes and stated firmly, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

    The lawyer huffed angrily, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the country. If you don't let me get my duck, I'll sue you."

    The old farmer smiled. "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the Tennessee Three Kick Rule."

    The lawyer asked, "What's the Tennessee Three Kick Rule?"

    The Farmer answered, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

    The attorney thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

    The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the lawyer. His first kick to the shin had the lawyer hopping around on one foot when suddenly the farmer planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. The attorney was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to pass out.

    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn."

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

  5. #740
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmort View Post
    ..Eric Clapton does a good job when he plays a blues song.... Check out his"Unplugged" CD.

    Mort

    OK..... he'p a brother out here. I Do So Love Me Some Slow-Hand, and that's great stuff, that articulated un-amplified series of sets really show off his skills,

    BUT!!!!

    Since when is Clapton considered "blues?" His album 'Blues' is (was?) called "Blues Rock" I guess but is he really BLUES??? Just wondering.

    Pretty, pretty, pretty stuff most of it...... I think I've got 7-8 different artists' renditions of 'Tears In Heaven' for instance..... but in my guts I guess I've never known it was blues!

  6. #741
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    Quote Originally Posted by alinwa View Post
    OK..... he'p a brother out here. I Do So Love Me Some Slow-Hand, and that's great stuff, that articulated un-amplified series of sets really show off his skills,

    BUT!!!!

    Since when is Clapton considered "blues?" His album 'Blues' is (was?) called "Blues Rock" I guess but is he really BLUES??? Just wondering.

    Pretty, pretty, pretty stuff most of it...... I think I've got 7-8 different artists' renditions of 'Tears In Heaven' for instance..... but in my guts I guess I've never known it was blues!
    You can check out Clapton's comment on the subject in the intro to Bob Dylan's 30th Anniversary Concert here.

    https://ok.ru/video/208269543957

  7. #742
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    Well, OK, I take back everything I've said about what I think of as "blues"!

    I searched it, wiki'd it and watched the liddle vid.

    Turns out I've got a whole lot more "blues" than I thought once you start including "blues influenced"

  8. #743
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    Quote Originally Posted by alinwa View Post
    Well, OK, I take back everything I've said about what I think of as "blues"!

    I searched it, wiki'd it and watched the liddle vid.

    Turns out I've got a whole lot more "blues" than I thought once you start including "blues influenced"
    That liddle vid is about 3 hours. Most of it pretty good IMO.

  9. #744
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    I know Eric is not a Blues singer by trade but when he chooses to do so he nails it.

    Try Howling Wolf, Mother Guitar Hubbard, Jimmy Reed, Lightning Hopkins, Muddy Waters etc. Idoubt you will find their work what you are looking for but if I got right you owe me 10 bucks.

  10. #745
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmort View Post
    I know Eric is not a Blues singer by trade but when he chooses to do so he nails it.

    Try Howling Wolf, Mother Guitar Hubbard, Jimmy Reed, Lightning Hopkins, Muddy Waters etc. Idoubt you will find their work what you are looking for but if I got right you owe me 10 bucks.


    Oh yeahh, I've got all those mainstream guys ...... well, not Mother Guitar Hubbard. I got lots of Ray Wylie Hubbard though.

    I think you mighta' made up Mother Hubbard!

  11. #746
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    Old mother Hubbard

    went to her cupboard

    and found..............................a Blues Guitar.

    now that she's older

    she's gotten bolder

    and take's her show on the road

  12. #747
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    After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year outside of Buffalo, New York scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 120 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

    Not to be outdone by the New Yorker's, in the weeks that followed, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Oceanside. Shortly after, a story in the LA Times read, "California archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorker's.

    One week later, a local newspaper in Jasper, Georgia reported the following: "After digging down about 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Jasper, Mr. Ruybal, a hell of an engineer and a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Mr. Ruybal has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Georgia had already gone wireless."

    Just makes a person proud to be from Georgia!

  13. #748
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    I had not heard it in years but was listening to You tube at lunch a few months back. Eric Clapton and Stevie Winwood " I am wasted an I can't find my way home." And there is some Cream that I just gotta heard when I see it on my phone.

  14. #749
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    This Sunday's word of the day.


  15. #750
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmort View Post
    I know Eric is not a Blues singer by trade but when he chooses to do so he nails it.

    Try Howling Wolf, Mother Guitar Hubbard, Jimmy Reed, Lightning Hopkins, Muddy Waters etc. Idoubt you will find their work what you are looking for but if I got right you owe me 10 bucks.
    I just watched 'Blacksnake Moan' and as much as I detest Samuel L Jackson'rs political views..... THERE was some blues. Hardcore, real BLUES....

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