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Thread: we need a humor forum.....until then

  1. #751
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmort View Post
    I know Eric is not a Blues singer by trade but when he chooses to do so he nails it.

    Try Howling Wolf, Mother Guitar Hubbard, Jimmy Reed, Lightning Hopkins, Muddy Waters etc. Idoubt you will find their work what you are looking for but if I got right you owe me 10 bucks.


    And......Two of the most influential Blues Artists, that ever picked up a Guitar, are missing from that "Who's who"list. Robert Johnson and BB King. It all starts with Robert Johnson.


    Glenn

  2. #752
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    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.


    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"



    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

  3. #753
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    Dec 2017
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    the CURE

    A woman goes to a counselor, worried about her husband’s temper.



    The counselor asks, "What's the problem?



    The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my husband loses his temper for no reason. It scares me.”



    The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's bourbon and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.



    Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn.



    She tells the counselor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband started to get angry, I swished the Jack Daniels and he would start to calm down. It was amazing! What is it about Jack Daniels that makes it work like that?



    The counselor said, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut is the trick.”

  4. #754
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    That's a little bit beyond funny.

  5. #755
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    Golden Gulf Coast
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    Thumbs down

    Wooooo, Don`t think I will tell that one to my wife.

  6. #756
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by cootrp3 View Post
    Wooooo, Don`t think I will tell that one to my wife.


    My wife thought it was hilarious

  7. #757
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    A friend said to me "My mother-in-law is an angel".
    I replied "You're lucky, mine is still alive"

  8. #758
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    A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.

    The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do.

    "Homer," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the field with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Darlene's signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."

    They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while. Homer came back to the doctor's office..

    "What's wrong?" asked the Doc. "Didn't my idea work?"

    "Oh, it worked real good," said Homer. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and then she'd go back home again."

    "Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.

    "I ain't seen her since huntin' season started."

  9. #759
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    I look at people and sometimes think "really? -- that's the sperm that won?"

  10. #760
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    A man wakes up and looks at his clock. It is 7:07 am.

    He gets out of bed, goes downstairs and glances at his calendar. It says it is July 7, the seventh day of the seventh month.
    As he steps outside he notices Bus #7 going by. He walks to a coffee shop and orders a coffee and a bite to eat and the bill comes to $7.77.

    The man thinks "hmmmm... all these sevens... I think the universe is trying to tell me something."

    So feeling that maybe this is his lucky day, the man cuts out early from work and goes to the race track. He reads the racing schedule and sees that in the seventh race horse # 7 is called "Lucky Universe". The man can't believe it. He runs up to the teller and bets all his money on the horse.

    The horse came in seventh.

  11. #761
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    Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door.

    Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

    He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”

    “Yep, that’s him,” he replied.

    The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

    “Because”, the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”

  12. #762
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chism G View Post
    And......Two of the most influential Blues Artists, that ever picked up a Guitar, are missing from that "Who's who"list. Robert Johnson and BB King. It all starts with Robert Johnson.


    Glenn
    I thought Al would know BB King. Saw King at one of his last concerts.....not pretty.

    Don't know how this got on this thread.

    Mort
    Last edited by dmort; 08-05-2019 at 09:32 PM.

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