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Thread: A bit of humor

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    I did NOT vote for Bill Jefferson
    Posts
    314

    A bit of humor

    Basic Construction Terms

    Contractor A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.

    Bid Opening A poker game in which the losing hand wins.

    Bid A wild guess carried out to two decimal points.

    Low Bidder A contractor who is wondering what he left out.

    Engineer’s Estimate The cost of construction 30 years ago

    Project Manager The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.

    Critical Path Method A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect conditions.

    Strike An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.

    Delayed Payment A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

    Completion Date The point liquidated damages begin.

    Auditor People who go in after the war is lost and bayonets the wounded.

    Lawyer People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    washington.........STATE that is.
    Posts
    11,033
    DUDE!!!! You been readin' my mail?

    al

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    henderson,n.c.
    Posts
    181
    I see you HAVE been in the construction biz.

    Chuck.

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