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Thread: Whoops!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Fort Worth, Texas
    Posts
    430

    Whoops!

    Texas benchrest shooter Tim Oltersdorf accidentally triggered the development of a black hole in his new garage after a recent move. His wife Teresa describes the series of events that led to the tragedy: "After our recent move we were sitting on the world's largest collection of empty cardboard boxes. I had Tim jump on it and roll around to compress it into a more manageable size. After his recent weight gain I underestimated the force generated by his mass. His body exerted so much pressure that it compressed the cardboard into such a small volume that it triggered the development of a small black hole which immediately began to swallow all of the surrounding stuff we had accumulated in the 35 years we lived in our last house. It got our china plate collection celebrating Elvis Presley"s greatest hits, the large doe-eyed children paintings, all of the Beany babies, the Franklin mint commemorative spoons and, worse of all, Tim's ceramic centipede statues including the one rearing up before a terrified half naked women. That darn near broke Tim's heart. We were saved when it tried to ingest Tim's pile of benchrest t-shirts. That clogged it up faster then a giant turd in a low flow, water saver toilet. It shuttered, wheezed and died. Thank you benchrest! You saved us and possibly the planet."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    6,373
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Oltersdorf View Post
    Texas benchrest shooter Tim Oltersdorf accidentally triggered the development of a black hole in his new garage after a recent move. His wife Teresa describes the series of events that led to the tragedy: "After our recent move we were sitting on the world's largest collection of empty cardboard boxes. I had Tim jump on it and roll around to compress it into a more manageable size. After his recent weight gain I underestimated the force generated by his mass. His body exerted so much pressure that it compressed the cardboard into such a small volume that it triggered the development of a small black hole which immediately began to swallow all of the surrounding stuff we had accumulated in the 35 years we lived in our last house. It got our china plate collection celebrating Elvis Presley"s greatest hits, the large doe-eyed children paintings, all of the Beany babies, the Franklin mint commemorative spoons and, worse of all, Tim's ceramic centipede statues including the one rearing up before a terrified half naked women. That darn near broke Tim's heart. We were saved when it tried to ingest Tim's pile of benchrest t-shirts. That clogged it up faster then a giant turd in a low flow, water saver toilet. It shuttered, wheezed and died. Thank you benchrest! You saved us and possibly the planet."

    And that collection of benchrest shirts has some that go back to the Stone Age. Not to mention his collection of "slightly used" benchrest barrels that almost had HOF written on them!!

    (Diet pills are available at www:/toofattowaddle.com)

    .

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    1,416

    Lmao

    You two guys; I swear! It's been wonderful knowing you for the last thirty years.
    I've always been too reserved and quiet. It's nice to have friends that are not!

    Have a good one today.

    Gene Beggs

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