A few for our warm weather pals:
After you've beaten a drift into (temporary) submission, a small victory dance is appropriate. Please note that while I'm wearing a Winter white camo pattern jacket, it's really not recommended for the beginning or intermediate level snow fighters. Advanced level Black Diamond users only, please. Fast movin' plows pick off a few hapless newbies each season, doubtless because of their poor choices in outerwear color. If you're new to the game, find a mentor....let's be safe, out there.
While on the subject of snow wars newbies, here's a telltale sign. Clearly, my neighbor suffers from L.S.A. (Loss of Spatial Awareness) when he runs his snowblower. Disoriented, off course and possibly suffering the early stages of snow blindness, he strayed off the edge of the sidewalk. The poor lawn payed the price. Not a picture for the squeamish....
If you've got a direct vent natural gas fireplace, make sure and keep the intake/exhaust clear of any snow. Cool combustion air is drawn in on the outer diameter of the pipe while the hot exhaust goes out the inner diameter. If not cleared properly, the fireplace won't work well, killing any hopes you may have had for a romantic evening with your honey by the fireplace. Snowed in with no ambience spells 'l-o-s-e-r'.
Here's an important one: Make sure and clear into the street in front of your 'up plow' neighbor. That way, when the plow comes by you won't be moving
his snow from in front of
your driveway.
Speaking of neighbors, make sure and help your older neighbors out. If you've seen 'Ol Charlie from next door lying in his driveway and not moving for an hour while his snowblower is running wide open..for heavens sake go check on him. It's probably just a busted hip or a concussion from the fall, but either way there's no reason to waste fuel. If 'Ol Charlie is cooling off pretty quickly, make sure you know what his wishes are before you go into CPR mode. Saving a guy that can't stand the thought of another Winter is a good way to ruin your relationship with that neighbor. And besides, 'Ol Charlie has that nice 8hp. Airens snowblower with the heated hand grips that he wouldn't have any need for....hmmm. Never pass up an opportunity to add another piece of snow removal gear to your Winter arsenal.
I'm just sayin'.......
Sleds are the perfect multi-functional tool. Not only can they be decorative, the can be pressed into service hauling groceries, kids....whatever. You can even lash 'Ol Charlie to it and get him inside the garage instead of dragging the poor guy (God rest his soul) all the way up the driveway. Good way to hurt your back........then who would move your snow?
If you've got a dog, you need to provide some means for the pooch to go take care of business. Letting 'em go on the deck sounds like the easy way out, but next March when you have the neighbors over for the annual Pre-Mosquito party...they'll see the stains on the deck and know you're a slothful so-and-so.
So be a man and dig a nice pathway out to the yard for the dog. You can skip the gym today, as your cardio workout has just been completed.
When your day is done, reward yourself. Fresh pheasant breasts over wild rice, covered with Swiss cheese, thin honey ham and sauteed onions and green peppers are a well deserved meal for anySoverign of the Shovel. The Tullamore over ice and a shot of seltzer works wonders during the cooking time and a Gewurztraminer makes a fine choice with the meal....the peppery finish of the 'G' being a nice counterpoint to the lean of the pheasant.
Laffin' in The Forbidden Zone.
-Al
