we need a humor forum.....until then

[antelopedundee]

 

[antelopedundee]

 

[antelopedundee]

 

[Nor Cal Mikie]

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping cabin on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a cabin, they went to bed, he in the upper berth and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, they were both still wide awake, and they both knew it.
He said, "I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet under your bed to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight let’s pretend that we’re married." "That’s a great idea!" he said, now totally aroused. "Good," she replied. "Get your own f’n blanket." After a moment of silence, he farted and did not care

 

[Nor Cal Mikie]

A priest and rabbi are sitting on an airline next to each other The stewardess brings out their meals, the priest a pork dinner, and the rabbi a salad. The priest turns to the rabbi and says "can I ask you a question?" the rabbi nods. The priest asks "you don't eat pork correct?" The rabbi says "no it is forbidden in Leviticus. An animal must have split hooves and chew it's cud to be kosher. A pig doesn't qualify." The priest asks "but have you ever tried it?" The rabbi says "yes, I must confess I did. In my younger days, before I was religious, I was somewhat rebellious I did try pork." The rabbi asks the priest "can I ask you a question?" the priest nods. The rabbi says "you can't have sex, right?" The priest says "no. We must have undivided attention to God and not let marriage or sex cloud that focus so we agree to celibacy." The rabbi says "but did you ever?" The priest says "yes, I must confess I did. In my younger days, before I considered being a priest I was a bit wild and did experience the pleasure of a woman's flesh." After a brief pause the rabbi says "better than pork, huh?”

 

[antelopedundee]

 

[Nor Cal Mikie]

 

[Nor Cal Mikie]

 

[zippy06]

All true.

 

[Nor Cal Mikie]

 

[antelopedundee]

Why do grocery store workers ask shoppers if they want paper or plastic? 'Cause baggers can't be choosers.

 

[antelopedundee]

Why do grocery store workers ask shoppers if they want paper or plastic? 'Cause baggers can't be choosers.

No likie Mikie?

 

[Nor Cal Mikie]

No likie Mikie?

How's that?? Changed it for you.
Matter of fact, I DO like it. I just have to remember to check my receipt so I don't get charged for a bag!!
I double and triple bag so the bottom doesn't fall out half way to the house when I'am packing groceries in. And some of my recycled bags are older than some of the posters here.

 

[antelopedundee]

How's that?? Changed it for you.
Matter of fact, I DO like it. I just have to remember to check my receipt so I don't get charged for a bag!!
I double and triple bag so the bottom doesn't fall out half way to the house when I'am packing groceries in. And some of my recycled bags are older than some of the posters here.

No need to change. Just not sure why you didn't like it. One store here used to offer both, but now it's pretty much plastic. WalMart recently considered charging for bags here, but never did. Most here end up in an incinerator instead of the landfill. I see some here use the recyclable tote bags, but not many.

 

[antelopedundee]

 

[antelopedundee]