murray brook
Active member
Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
Heard a preacher mention this the other morning.
Two life long friends discussing if Jesus was white or black.
Both happened to die on the same day.
Got to heaven and asked St Peter is Jesus white or black? St Peter says here he comes, ask him.
Jesus comes over and says "Bueno Dias Amigos".
Two life long friends discussing if Jesus was white or black.
Both happened to die on the same day.
Got to heaven and asked St Peter is Jesus white or black? St Peter says here he comes, ask him.
Jesus comes over and says "Bueno Dias Amigos".
GeneT
Active member
GeneT
Active member
True story: I was sitting in the ER with my wife and I overheard the doctor in the adjacent stall (what do you call those? Stall seems appropriate...). Say "You know what they call the guy that graduates at the bottom of his class in medical school?"
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"Doctor"
Something to keep in mind.
GsT
Epilogue: that particular doctor turned out to be a true genius - the medical world needs more like him!
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.
.
"Doctor"
Something to keep in mind.
GsT
Epilogue: that particular doctor turned out to be a true genius - the medical world needs more like him!
murray brook
Active member
Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
Got a doctor that both the wife and I see. Good guy to talk with. Keeps telling me I should go to work with him cause I pretty much know what goes on and how to prevent medical problems. If it hurts when you do that, DON'T DO THAT!!
Asked him what does HE do in his spare time? (thinking hobbies??) Says he reads medical books. STILL easy to talk too.
And I've noticed he's in the office less and less. Thinking he might be thinking on easing out of his practice? I HOPE NOT!! Too good of a man to do without.He DID mention Bearded Iris flowers were his FAVORITES!! Me, growing and having enough for the WHOLE county, (maybe 2500 flowers) made it a point to drop off 2 grocery bags full of Rhizome's for him. (maybe 50+) He had HIS gardener plant them for him.
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Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
Funny that you don't need a medical degree to figure THAT out.
Did work on an old Dr's car that got towed into the shop. I mentioned that I thought it would be interesting being a Dr. His reply? "You ARE a Dr. A car Dr". Guess he was right. Figure out what's wrong with it and FIX IT!!
Listen to some young folks that were in the medical field, working down in Mexico dealing with folks and lots of superstitions, long taught in their societies.
Mothers that wouldn't "nurse their babies" if they were mad about something for fear they would pass it on to the babies. Talk about stumbling blocks? Bad enough with people being people.
antelopedundee
internet bum
Sex and Good Grammar
For my grammatically correct friends ... Remember this.
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder warned, 'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but, when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle ....
For my grammatically correct friends ... Remember this.
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder warned, 'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but, when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle ....
murray brook
Active member
antelopedundee
internet bum
antelopedundee
internet bum
Canadian Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster, speaking in Ontario, says: "I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto."
"I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant, regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus, the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."
"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, The Turban Cowboy, and the other, a topless bar, would be called You Mecca Me Hot."
"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called Iraq of Ribs."
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods, and on the other side, a liquor store called Morehammered."
All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.
Yes, we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on.
And if you are not laughing or at least, smiling at this point, it is either past your bedtime, or it's midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed.
"I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant, regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus, the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."
"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, The Turban Cowboy, and the other, a topless bar, would be called You Mecca Me Hot."
"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called Iraq of Ribs."
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods, and on the other side, a liquor store called Morehammered."
All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.
Yes, we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on.
And if you are not laughing or at least, smiling at this point, it is either past your bedtime, or it's midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed.