View Full Version : Happy Holidays

Tim Oltersdorf
12-31-2010, 06:57 PM
This is the time of year for all of those syrupy family news letters and this was the year that was articles in the newspapers. So here it is from the Oltersdorf's:
Grace, Tim's 87 year old mother spent the holidays cooking at her home in Pine, Arizona. Luckily a strong mountain blizzard prevented the local swat team from raiding her meth lab before she could distribute her Christmas packages. Teresa, Tim's spouse of 43 years was released from prison after serving a 42 year sentence for premeditated murder of Tim's identical twin brother. She came out with a bunch of interesting tattoos and a vow of finally being able to finish the other half of the job; whatever that means. Cora, Tim's daughter got a new job as assistant editor at an Austin, Texas magazine called Fraud (true story). It is heartwarming to see the children carry on the family traditions. Eric, Tim's son and his wife Jen run a PR and web design company called Snackbox. Their client list expanded from Enron, BP, and Madoff Investment Securities LLC to now include the Taliban. Look to 2011 for a fresh new appearance to their training and recruitment videos. Georgia, Tim's 4 year old grand daughter was thrilled with her Christmas dollhouse that Tim built. It came complete with bullet proof glass in the windows and razor wire around the front entrance just like grampa's real house.
Tim's 2010 Gulf Coast benchrest season included the usual death threats, blood feuds, spirited physical confrontations and ingestion of hepatotoxins. Several new colorful names were invented to add to the already voluminous list in the Gulf Coast directory of insults for all occasions. These included smegma eater, intellectual constipator, small group virgin, Depends (an adult diaper) dependent and many others too earthy for the refined sensitivities of the readership of this forum. In all it was a rather sedate benchrest season. There were no incidents of genocide, terrorist attacks or biological threats although some argued that the Gulf Coast director's gastrointestinal tract qualified as such. I wish everyone a great 2011. Tim

Roger T
12-31-2010, 07:22 PM

Jerry Dailey
12-31-2010, 07:35 PM
I was very concerned from the tone of Tim's post about scales that he was deathly ill. That post was serious, informative and to the point, so much so that it had me worried. Its good to see that he's back to himself and even using himself as the scapegoat.:p

mike in co
12-31-2010, 08:08 PM
yes, now all is right in our world....

mike in co