View Full Version : A bit of humor

Roy Allain
02-24-2010, 12:58 PM
Basic Construction Terms

Contractor A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.

Bid Opening A poker game in which the losing hand wins.

Bid A wild guess carried out to two decimal points.

Low Bidder A contractor who is wondering what he left out.

Engineer’s Estimate The cost of construction 30 years ago

Project Manager The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.

Critical Path Method A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect conditions.

Strike An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.

Delayed Payment A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Completion Date The point liquidated damages begin.

Auditor People who go in after the war is lost and bayonets the wounded.

Lawyer People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies.

02-24-2010, 01:34 PM
DUDE!!!! You been readin' my mail?


chuck furniss
02-24-2010, 05:04 PM
I see you HAVE been in the construction biz.